The thing about Raw food diets.

So you’re considering eating a raw foods. GREAT! There’s so many great enzymes, nutrients and other ill shit in raw fruits and vegetables that you’re gonna get. You’re on the path to a totally healthy lifestyle like a fuckin’ G.

Before you jump in, know this; Raw food diets (especially that vegan shit) are fucking hard. Look, I get you want to save all the animals, but are you really prepared to do the work that is involved with it? Plus, even vegetable harvests cause deforestation and accidentally kill animals like deer, grouse, pheasant, and more all the time. And if you’re going to go raw Vegan be warned about anemia (iron deficiency), or worse. If you’re going to go for it, I’m happy for you, and it can be SUPER healthy, but you have to put in work.

Talk to your doctor, a nutritionist and other vegans before doing so.

Aside from anemia, going raw vegan can raise all sorts of ailments like fatigue, inflammation, poor gut biome, weight gain, bloating, and toxicity in your body. If you’re doing the raw thing, you may not even be absorbing important nutrients found in your food.

Green Leafy and Cruciferous Vegetables. 

Kale, Cabbage, Spinach, Swiss Chard, Broccoli, and Brussels sprouts.

These are all super good foods, packed with antioxidants, B vitamins like folate and other rad shit, while making you poop real good. However, to get anything out of them (beyond undigestible fibre), you have to apply heat to them.

Our bodies are simply not equipped to break the cell walls of some vegetables where the nutrients are hiding out. We will simply digest them and poop them out faster than we can absorb most of what they have to offer. Basically, you’re eating indigestible fibre, which is great for bowel function, but does fuck all for absorption.

Even breaking them down in a blender and putting them into smoothie form won’t do it. Plus, fuck raw Kale. It’s not good. Okay, maybe its pretty good slathered in caesar salad dressing, but then again, what isn’t? It’s bitter, hard to chew, and pushy. It takes over the whole conversation in your mouth when tasting things. Stop pretending to like it, because we all know you’re full of shit. Cooked Kale however, is fucking delicious. Also, keep these to a moderate intake. Eat it, but not every fucking day. Overdoing the intake on cruciferous vegetables can even block nutrient absorption and lead to hyperthyroidism.

Fruitarianism and Juicing. 

Stop it. It’s expensive, not healthy and in the case of juicing, wasteful. Steve Jobs was a Fruititarian. He’s also dead now. Coincidence? Probably.

Fuck yea fruit is tasty. It’s full of simple sugars that give you a surge of energy and you feel refreshed eating it. What’s happening there is your body is rapidly pumping out insulin and happy thoughts super fast but with that, comes a crash.  The carbs and starches in fruit don’t sustain those sugar energies long enough for you to benefit from it. It ends up being sent to the liver to be stored in glycogen later for energy – fat yo.

Fruit simply doesn’t cut it for energons (kcals) and when you juice you lose fibre.

The solution: Eat fruit. It’s good for you, especially if it’s on the Low glycemic list. However, limit daily intake of it and include fibrous vegetables and whole grain carbohydrates when you consume it to slow the digestion and insulin release. Your energy from consuming them together will be expended better than it would if you just crushed an all fruit smoothie or Juice.


There’s lots of food we can eat raw and get tons of nutrients out of, but a little steam or dry heat from roasting is only going to make those things taste better and help you digest them easier and fully. I hate to discourage anyone from eating vegetables, raw or otherwise, but some of them need a little TLC and preparation. Now get your ass to the produce section and get rad.

Be healthy,




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